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Bitter Memory

Of sour lemons embitter life,
I prefer the hot chocolate.
What was a dream turned torment of my emphatic reality.

In a split second, everything collapsed. He fell to the ground which for me was possible, and making it impossible in my eyes what both wanted in my life. What was light went out, where there were smiles, there is only seriousness, joy which fixed dwelling in my soul, gave rise to great sadness and loneliness.

Difficult to accept the new reality, the pain I feel in my heart, make me plunge into tears when she realized my failure. Forces do not have to be reluctant against such disappointment that I feel in my being, I see falling into the abyss every fantasy that one day I created live next to him who chose me to live at his side, my castle completely collapsed with their departure.

Their parting was too painful, and I will follow up on everything I dreamed, still do not know. What am I to live in these first hours of torture, there are no words to express such disappointment. I'll find out one day the real reason for his feat. It was me, a question mark, a sense in which I can not explain, but was born within my being, the fear of facing those who trusted me the confidence to be able to build a new family. What did I do? I disappointed them.

How will I tell I lost the battle without even trying to rebuild what was so perfect for my eyes? How to say in words, which failed, if there was no evidence of disagreements? How I will look in the eyes of the people I love so much, and say that I'm living for now? No wonder I have the courage to find the right words and count them my suffering, abandonment and disappointment, but my strength just reached their final limit.

Briefly, however short, I repeat here what I think to myself every day. Time was passing, remediating me every second, and divide phrases here I have thought and helped me to revive me: When you return me to life again, rekindle the light of hope. Of sour lemons embitter life, I prefer hot chocolate.

Pilar Mariosa Bastos da Silva
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